There is a terror creeping around the United States and it's being delivered to just about everyone's home everyday. I'm not talking about the political propaganda that is on our television that is only going to get worse before it gets better. I'm not talking about the fact that the United States government may be able to force someone to have insurance. I am not talking about the mere existence of Michelle Bachmann or Sarah Palin.
I am talking about Extreme Couponers...
I posted a while back about this people and how they literally terrify me. They are right below the moms on "Toddlers and Tiaras" (and you know who you are Honey Boo Boo Child) Now, before coupon clippers get up in arms and start telling me how much money I can save by using coupons there are some things that you need to know. I don't care if you use coupons. I am not going to. I don't think I am better then anyone but I am not going to take the time out of my day to clip, file, and store away coupons and then turn around and plan my meals around what is in my coupon binder and then haul said binder to my local shopping establishment and then have to search for said food. It's just not in me and I don't have the patience to do it.
So I am not talking about your daily coupon user...I was watching The Learning Channel and this show "Extreme Couponing" came on and I thought to myself there is no way in hell this is real. Of course I tuned in. I was so not expecting what I saw. People were dancing across my television screen happily showing rooms that they kept coupon circulars in that were waiting to be clipped and meticulously placed in large, segmented binders before hopping in minivans and heading for the store to make the coupon magic happen. And boy do they...I have never seen something like this...these people buy all of these things in the hopes that their entire purchase will be for nothing...and I am talking about entire bins and displays of sh*t. If their total is over 27 cents they go into a complete fit, demand to see a manager and keep the people behind them who are only trying to buy enough groceries to make a Ceasar salad furious...
Then they bring this stash home, usually to a specially built bunker or room that is designated strictly for their couponing rewards. No, call me crazy, but does one need over 5000 rubes of toothpaste? How many teeth are you expecting to brush, Sugar. Eventually we get old and get replacement teeth that sit right in a nice glass on the back of your toilet. Do you need 700 cases of assorted size diapers when you are childless and grandchild-less? What about the shelves and shelves of Fancy Feast that you have accumulated but still haven't found the time to buy a cat?
Here is the deal...I don't mind saving money. I'm actually all for it to be honest. I do have an issue with this organized hoarding of sorts. You can't tell me that buying your local Food Circus out of cat food because it is going to be (gasp) FREE by the time your coupon is run is normal IF YOU DON'T OWN A CAT. If you don't have a baby you don't need any diapers. No pool means you don't need pool chemicals and lets face it, there is no need in having 600 bottles of laundry detergent. (Especially scented laundry detergent...remember if the Zombie apocalypse comes, they have a INCREDIBLE sense of smell).
In many ways I feel for these people...waiting for their latest circulars, clipping them, binding them, shopping with them, having whole rooms added to their homes for a stash of goods that can't be used in a hundred lifetimes. Think of everything else they could be doing with this time and energy and patience. I'm not saying don't try and conserve, but next time you think "I can get 20 servings for cat food for 1 penny a serving and then I have a buy one get one free coupon for them" that you may be better served coloring with your child, visiting your parents, or buying those items and donating them an animal shelter. Splashing your face across TLC only makes you a target for people who have time on their lunch hour to blog about you! :)
HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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