I will admit that while I have always wanted to go to Italy I never really took the time to learn that much about it. Pretty much the only thing that I knew for sure what that it looked like a ladies boot. So I did some research and looked at some pictures and was impressed with this gorgeous countryside that I saw.
Our first full day was in a city called San Giamano. It is famous because it still has it's complete wall around it a hundred per cent in tact. the plan was to do some light shopping (there is amazing linen store there) and then climb to the top of the city as the panoramic view from Tuscany is spectacular. After an amazing lunch with several bottles of wine I was ready to attack this city. We climbed and climbed and with each view being more breathtaking then the next. When we finally reached the top I looked at the view and saw another town in the far distance that we were going to and then another. That is when it hit me like a load of unwashed socks...
Italy is a country that is hills and mountains
The cities were built thousands of years ago...into these mountains, when there was no technology. I was going to have to climb to the top of everything that I wanted to see...
SON OF A BITCH!
Ths was validated the next day while in Florence. We were scheduled to tour the Duomo in the center of Florence which once again offered an amazing view. I looked up, saw where I was going, realized there was no lift that was going to get my out of shape behind up there. Getting to the top required climbing up a little less then five hundred stairs that are made of stone. Five hundred stairs that are made of stone, that go up through little hallways that were made for little bitty feet. If you are claustrophobic you will pretty much be dead by the tenth step and if you are even slightly over weight you are simply going to get stuck and die in the stairwells. As I was ascending I thought of the clergy that did this EVERYDAY of their lives and realized that they had to have legs like Tina Turner and an ass tighter then Robert Pattinson's. Oh, and there is no turning around once you start the ascent. It is all or nothing.
I came down exhilarated that I had done it without suffering a mild heart attack and I vowed never would I do this again.
Until the next day, when I repeated the exact same climb with fewer steps at the Duomo in Siena. The only difference was that there were fewer steps and about halfway up when you thought you were actually at the top there was this smug bitch in a beret who cheerfully told you that you only had 117 more steps to climb. Oh, and once you got to the top you only had ten minutes to enjoy the view. Needless to say we stayed up there about thrity minutes, just for spite.
My vacation of climbing to the top of everything reached its peak though when I went to tour the Boboli gardens. It had been explained to me that they were created by one of the de Medici wives who wanted the most gorgeous gardens in the world so I decided we needed to go see them. Kinda sounded like Bellingrath Gardens at Christmas to me! I walked to the Medici Palace entered the gardens and thought we would take a nice leisurely stroll around them. Until I saw that they were terraced gardens and that you had to climb to the top of them. My first inclination was to run like my ass was on fire but then I saw Jeff take his first weary step up them and decided to follow.
I spent my vacation climbing to the top of everything in Italy and I wouldn't change it for the world and I got to great feelings. The first was obvious. I got to see places and things that most never get to see. The second was that when I return to Italy with folks who have never been I can tell them "you have to climb to the top of the Duomo. It's the most amazing view." I can then sit back and grin while I sip on a cocktail as they wearily enter the building!
Made a wrong turn once or twice...Welcome to my silly life
